(Un)Holy Iftar

It’s been a while since my last update. The entire gang got together for iftar at a place called “The Diner” which is next to Espresso on Khayaban-e-Shahbaz. All in all there were thirteen of us inclusive of current and ex-Ogilvians.

At iftar time we were served an iftar platter which comprised of 3 mini burgers, a few buffalo wings, chicken sticks and some samosas and pakorays. Because we were hungry at that time it all seemed pretty good.

The iftar deal for ‘The Diner’ was Rs. 895 per head exclusive of tax and we could pick any item from a given menu there would be unlimited servings from the iftar menu, just to be clear, ‘unlimited servings’ means that you can order as many items as you want within the given menu and not huge servings.

I wanted to play safe so I ordered the “Mushroom Steak”. After a good 45 minutes of waiting and throwing tantrums, the food finally arrived. If the company had not been so much fun, we would all have gone nuts.

When the food arrived, they gave me a “Pepper Steak” instead of my original order, but, I rolled with it because of the fear that they would take another 45 minutes if they had to change the order. It would actually have made no difference either way because it was by far the puniest steak I have ever seen in my life! It was the first time in my life that I was done with my meal before the waiters were done serving it! There wasn’t enough of the steak on the plate to actually gauge the taste of it, all I can say is that it was a very dry steak, as if it was prepared hours in advance and just heated in a microwave before serving and the mashed potatoes were way too salty.

Our newest gang member, Sadia, ordered the “Prawn Pasta” which had a whopping one tiny prawn in it and smelled horribly like fish. She could not get passed a few bites, I don’t blame her, it was virtually the same story of discontent up and down our table. The only saving grace was the “Vanilla Ice Cream Brownie” which someone suggested that these guys got from Espresso!

The horror story that is “The Diner” does not end here. The very next day myself, Mahreen, Yasir and Sadia all mysteriously seem to have upset stomachs!

Overall, the only good thing about the entire experience was the people we brought. “The Diner” however, spectacularly makes the top of the Blacklist, eliminating Kahva! All readers are warned, you go to “The Diner” at your own peril!

Room Service At The Office

June 17th, 2010: This is just something I have to mention, I ordered in with a couple of friends from a only place called 'Room Service'. I had tried it out with some friends when it opened up and had some consistency issues, but, people had been telling me for a while that the place had gotten it's act together. It was about time I gave it another shot.

They have a menu that has a good range, pastas, burgers, salads, soups etc. The Prices were not exactly very cheap but considering the serving per order they sent over, it was pretty reasonable.

I found the Beef in Oyster and Mushroom Sauce to be an interesting option, but, on recommendation by Hufsa I ordered the Beef Teppanyaki. They said they would deliver in 30 minutes and they lived up to that promise. The food got here warm and on time.

The Teppanyaki looked brilliant even in the food saver, I'm sorry there are no pictures because at the time it just did not cross my mind, I was more focused on eating the food.

Enough about the setup, lets talk about the food itself.

My greatest fear with beef is that some chef's out of an attempt to churn out food at a quick pace, leave it slightly undercooked, no such worries here. The food was very well cooked and the balance of meat and vegetables was pretty okay, I can't even complain that there were more veggies than meat.

The food tasted fantastic, there was a very healthy serving and I finished it all. Nothing was under or over cooked, even the rice and the vegetables and there wasn't too much or too less of any spice. It was all just right. The proportions of the ingredients was balanced out very well. Points scored for Room Service that gave me a pretty good meal.

Overall, a marked improvement from the last time, this time I was impressed. I just have one question and one recommendation. The question is: what is up with all the asterisks in the menu? The recommendation is: Punh-leeze send over some better cutlery! The plastic forks and knives are just sad!

Menu below! Give it a whirl and leave a comment!

Cheers,

Z

A Farewell To Remember!

12th June, 2010: We were giving a bunch of our own a farewell dinner, Fatima, Faisal, Shaheryar and Ardy have left our ranks to pursue adventures elsewhere. On a Saturday, we took them to Fuchsia.

This will probably be the shortest update I will ever make on this blog. This blog is titled Food and "WHINE" so an essential element is criticism, now read on.

The food was fantastic! There is no other way to say it. It was absolutely perfect, it came on time, the service was friendly and prompt. The best part is, the food was not served ala carte, so everyone could have everything.

For starters we had the Prawn Fritters, Prawn Dumplings, Marinated Beef Soya Sauce and the Garlic Chicken. Shazia graciously handed me her Tom Yum Soup which was a little salty but brilliant nonetheless.

For our main course we had the Dried Beef in Basil, Red Curry Prawns, Chicken with Cashew Nuts, Chicken in Green Curry and Red Snapper in Tamarind Sauce.

There is nothing I can whine about in Fuchsia. It's my new favourite place in town!

Cheers,

Z

All I want is Flo: Shaheryar Mirza

This is a brilliant piece written by my great friend and colleague Shaheryar Mirza. This will put into perspective the eating habits of the Ogilvy-ites.

Enjoy!




*Part 1 inspired by 'All I want is you' (U2)
**Part 2 inspired by 'Killing me Softly' by Roberta Flack
*** Dedicated to our food-lovin' gang.


PART 1

You say you want
Diners with chairs of gold
Home delivery to remain un-cold
You say you’ll trade
Sabzi for Dominos
Nando’s for a slice of toast
But all the orders we place
From the taste-bud to the waist
When all I want is Flo

Yaa-sir he caught
A Daewoo with no one on it
A bumble bee in his bonnet
A song without a sonnet
A Bombay with no bakery
All the bitches in the night

You say you’ll give
Your blood for BAT
Your sweat for Disco Auntie
Your tears for daal roti
But all the shawermas we ate
From the platter to the ‘pait’
When all you want is Flo

Mimi she brings me
Wet tissues in a time of dryness
Chocolates in a time of blandness
A Dabur from the chemist
She says she’ll wait
Till everyone agrees
It’s a total democracy
Nothing’s free
In love and gluttony
But all the Butter Puffs she slays
From teatime to After-Eight
When all she wants is Flo

You say you want
Khao soi from Simple Dimple
Lasagnia from Room Service
A Zinger from Uncle Sander’s
Green Curry from Chairman Mao
But all the ulcers we embrace
From Sindhi Muslim to every DHA Phase
When all we want is
Let’s face it…sex
No wait
Flooooooo…all I want is Flooooooo

Fahad get the plates
Mohsin line up the Coke
Sani attacks his Student Biryani
Hasnain prowls like Daku Rani
Henny’s I shrunk the kids
‘Cause the sandwich never came
If it’s Bihari from Mealtime
Sherry’s to blame
All Roasters and no service
Makes Shazia crabby
Zubi went to Kahva
And found it shabby
Hufsah smacked the rider
‘Cause he was 2 minutes late
Sanober stopped bringing Karhee
Since she put on weight
When the day is done
We turn to brew
And when the Achaari’s too spicy
We go “Aaachooooo”


--------------------------

------

PART 2

I heard they served a good meal
I had they had a style
So we went to Cafe Koel
To eat appetizers for a while
And there she was this French girl
A stranger to my speed dial

Recommending her guests fish fingers
Steaming my rice with her words
Grilling me softly this French girl
Grilling me softly this French girl
Thrilling my steak knife with her swirl
Grilling me softly with her song

She said I run this place called Flo
We get a pretty good crowd
I almost dropped the butter
Her 'Bonjour' left no space for doubt
I fumbled with the English language
But she just kept right on

Marinating my mind with her fingers
Seasoning my wine with her words
Tried to woo her with my rendition of 'voulez vous'
But she didn't like Abba
She may have grilled me softly
But the bill came harshly
And so I bid 'Au Revoir'
To my French muse
And went back to Chicken Sour
From Eaton

A Studio In Disguise

Sunday 25th, April: This is the first and probably the last time that I write about a place that I have not been to.

My friend Danial arranged a get together so we CBM'ers can celebrate the close of a semester. We decided that we would go to a place called Studio Cafe. We were a group of 17 people, so, we decided to call ahead and tell them we were coming. BAD IDEA!!

Apparently, to have a reservation at Cafe Studio, you need to pay Rs. 800 per head! This will just get you a main course and a drink... not even sheesha!

But, to be fair, they did give us another option. Run up a bill of Rs. 10,000 at least!

I know what you are thinking, why call ahead? Why not just show up? My answer to that is, we were dumb enough to be nice enough to give Cafe Studio a head's up.

I will not black list Studio Cafe because you need to have bad food to make the list and we never had the food, all 17 of us ended up going to a place called Hot Bites, I did not like the food, but with all my insane friends yelling, screaming, clicking pictures and calling me "gulabo"(something to do with my red t-shirt) I was having way too much fun to even remember what the food tasted like. Honourable mention (drum roll) Sonia the Spunky Chick, Danial, AJW, Talha, Owais, Sana, Kanwal, Fatima Sahi, Fatima Sayani, Anem, Asim, Fahad, Myself, Ali and Waqas! If I forgot anyone... live with it!

But this update is about Cafe Studio, my only advice to them is... Guys if you manage to chase away a group of 17 people who were coming to spend some cash... that is just bad business acumen, and bad business acumen is the first step to the death of a business!

Regards,

Z

Revenge of The Patio

March 9th, 2010: Let me start off by saying thank you to all my friends for this day. It was my birthday and they all took me out for a birthday lunch at a place called The Patio. Smita who drove us all around, Mahreen who bought me a wonderful book on Karachi title Karachiwalas, Yasir, Aneela and Hufsa. It was a day like none other, I did not know any better, I'd say birthdays seem to get better the older you get! Thanks guys for a great Tuesday!

Anyhoo... Down to the eating part!

The Patio is located down the street from Flo and Koel. It's a nice place when you first walk in, with a nice and sunny environment, something like a cafe in a tropical island. We ordered starters, the Honey Lotus Stems, the Melting Mushrooms and Calamari Rings, which were actually quite nice and set the stage for a fairly decent meal to come.

Little did we know.... I ordered the Veal Medallions with Mushroom, Yasir had the Vegetarian Platter, Mahreen and Smita had the Grilled Chicken Tournedos, Hufsa ordered the Mushroom Crepes and Aneela had the Quesadillas.

The food was actually a little decent, at first. I actually liked my veal medallions even though they were not cooked all the way through, which made them slightly chewy. Hufsa hated her crepes which were basically pancakes. There were no major complaints while having the food. Even the "Limupani" we had was ok even though it was Mitchell's Squash with pepper ground into it.

I cannot tell you how much it cost, because I did not pay! A perk of being the birthday boy!

Let me now explain the "Little did we know" which is above. When we got back to the office Smita started feeling slightly uneasy. Mahreen had the same thing and upon coordination we found out that they both were feeling uneasy. Smita did not come in the next day and Mahreen was really sick after wards. On top of it all, me, the birthday boy, who had an interesting dinner planned, had tummy issues!! Later on we found out that Yasir was in the same boat as us. Hufsa did not finish her pancake roll and Aneela has not had any complaints... yet!

Even though that was a very good day for me, but I have had no complaints from the gang about this, The Patio very easily makes the blacklist. Never will I go there again nor will I suggest it to anyone else. If you are in the neighbourhood and feel the munchies, go to Flo or Koel. That is the best advice I can give anyone, stay as far away from The Patio as possible.

You have been warned!

Regards,

Z

The Patio's patio

Veal Medallions

Vegetable Platter

Grilled Chicken Tournedos

Quesadillas

Gyro-scopic Stability

March 1st, 2010: We found this new place, well new to us, Pitacos. We wanted something new delivered to the office and this place kinda fit the bill. The menu was pretty interesting ranging from salads, tacos and sandwiches. The price was pretty reasonable too, Rs. 170 for a gyro seemed like not too bad a deal.

The menu that we found was nicely worded, there was a fair bit of humour involved in the ordering process. It was quite a huge task ordering a gyro called the "Al Pachino Beef" and not making it sound gay. Everyone had their fun with their orders.

Pitacos has a policy that entitles you to a 10% discount if you order before 12:30. Needless to say the ordering was timed to perfection that we availed the said discount. The food took around an hour to arrive and it came to roughly Rs. 200 per head.

The food came with its own set of challenges, the first was deciphering which meal was which. The tacos were the easiest to figure out but the gyros were simply labeled beef and chicken. Yasir had to call up the Pitacos for a tutorial on figuring out the orders. After substantial amount of confusion, we all dug in, much to our disappointment. They were all completely flat, no flavour whatsoever!

It seemed that the meat was simply boiled and stuffed in. Not to take away from Pitacos, the gyros were pretty well stuffed with meat, vegetables and sauces, but the overarching problem was, nobody could taste any of it! How they managed that... I do not know. Even the tacos were "Nasty and tasted a couple of days old!" complained Shazia. It was so bad, that Hasnain and Mahreen did not even finish their gyros. I did not hear a single good comment from anyone who was part of the gyro party.

We all unanimously decided that we were not ordering from Pitacos any time soon. This has proudly landed Pitacos on the blacklist. So people! If you are thinking Pitacos... Change your minds!

Regards,

Z