All I want is Flo: Shaheryar Mirza

This is a brilliant piece written by my great friend and colleague Shaheryar Mirza. This will put into perspective the eating habits of the Ogilvy-ites.

Enjoy!




*Part 1 inspired by 'All I want is you' (U2)
**Part 2 inspired by 'Killing me Softly' by Roberta Flack
*** Dedicated to our food-lovin' gang.


PART 1

You say you want
Diners with chairs of gold
Home delivery to remain un-cold
You say you’ll trade
Sabzi for Dominos
Nando’s for a slice of toast
But all the orders we place
From the taste-bud to the waist
When all I want is Flo

Yaa-sir he caught
A Daewoo with no one on it
A bumble bee in his bonnet
A song without a sonnet
A Bombay with no bakery
All the bitches in the night

You say you’ll give
Your blood for BAT
Your sweat for Disco Auntie
Your tears for daal roti
But all the shawermas we ate
From the platter to the ‘pait’
When all you want is Flo

Mimi she brings me
Wet tissues in a time of dryness
Chocolates in a time of blandness
A Dabur from the chemist
She says she’ll wait
Till everyone agrees
It’s a total democracy
Nothing’s free
In love and gluttony
But all the Butter Puffs she slays
From teatime to After-Eight
When all she wants is Flo

You say you want
Khao soi from Simple Dimple
Lasagnia from Room Service
A Zinger from Uncle Sander’s
Green Curry from Chairman Mao
But all the ulcers we embrace
From Sindhi Muslim to every DHA Phase
When all we want is
Let’s face it…sex
No wait
Flooooooo…all I want is Flooooooo

Fahad get the plates
Mohsin line up the Coke
Sani attacks his Student Biryani
Hasnain prowls like Daku Rani
Henny’s I shrunk the kids
‘Cause the sandwich never came
If it’s Bihari from Mealtime
Sherry’s to blame
All Roasters and no service
Makes Shazia crabby
Zubi went to Kahva
And found it shabby
Hufsah smacked the rider
‘Cause he was 2 minutes late
Sanober stopped bringing Karhee
Since she put on weight
When the day is done
We turn to brew
And when the Achaari’s too spicy
We go “Aaachooooo”


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PART 2

I heard they served a good meal
I had they had a style
So we went to Cafe Koel
To eat appetizers for a while
And there she was this French girl
A stranger to my speed dial

Recommending her guests fish fingers
Steaming my rice with her words
Grilling me softly this French girl
Grilling me softly this French girl
Thrilling my steak knife with her swirl
Grilling me softly with her song

She said I run this place called Flo
We get a pretty good crowd
I almost dropped the butter
Her 'Bonjour' left no space for doubt
I fumbled with the English language
But she just kept right on

Marinating my mind with her fingers
Seasoning my wine with her words
Tried to woo her with my rendition of 'voulez vous'
But she didn't like Abba
She may have grilled me softly
But the bill came harshly
And so I bid 'Au Revoir'
To my French muse
And went back to Chicken Sour
From Eaton